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“To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.” - Woody Allen


“On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.” - Peter Steiner


“In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.” - Pliny the Elder


“The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.” - Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart


“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill


“Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.” - Jimmy Demaret


“If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.” - Jewish Proverbs


“The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.” - Sydney Harris


“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” - Friedrich Nietzsche


“What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.” - Cindy Gardner


“Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.” - H.L. Meneken


“Indecision may or may not be my problem.” - Jimmy Buffett


“It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.” - James Thurber


“The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.” - Randy Milholland


“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.” - Alfred Hitchcock


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